Here we are, witnessing the savage attack by Hamas on Israel. Which will provoke a response by Israel in kind. Here we are, witnessing Ukraine defend itself from Russia. A war that could go on for years to come.

There is no winning in war because the cost is immeasurable. There are things that are measurable, such as the tragic loss of life on each side of a conflict. Soldiers and civilians alike.

What isn’t easily measurable is the effect of war on everyone else, yet it is profound.

My dad served in World War II, crossing the North Atlantic in convoys that would ferry men and supplies east to England. The convoy would return home with the maimed and wounded. His ship was on the outer ring of the convoy, designed to protect the larger ships from attack. A “sacrificial lamb” of a sort.

One could imagine the constant, unrelenting fear of losing one’s life without warning if you happened upon an enemy craft at sea. Or, imagine witnessing the wounded returning home with missing limbs or disfigured faces.

My dad exhibited signs of what we now know to be Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: sudden outbursts of unprovoked anger if not rage, and self-medication with alcohol. Despite finding success in his life, he remained a victim. Further, his untreated trauma affected all of those around him including me.

We now know that trauma is intergenerational. Those who are traumatized can traumatize those around them with their behaviors. Trauma is even encoded in damage to our DNA, and passed on generationally.

The cost of war isn’t just those whose lives are lost. Those who survive will bear the impact too, albeit in ways that are harder to quantify. But the impact is real nonetheless, in the form of degraded emotional and physical health for the generation that endured a war and those that follow.

War has no winners, and its wake of destruction is wide and deep.